A week last Saturday I did my first marathon again after 4 weeks of almost no running. Physically, I was totally unprepared, but mentally I was ready to go again. I wasn't expecting much of myself, but I was determined to go out there and enjoy it, and I actually surprised myself by doing it quite well. I guess I must still have had my base fitness there, but I think the most important thing was that in my head I felt much less intimidated by running than I had for a while, and for some reason I just had this confidence that I would be OK. It was the Thames Meander Marathon, an old favourite, and it was good to be back and to prove to myself I could still do it.
It made me think again about my journey this year, and the ups and downs. When at the start of the year I was definitely on a down phase of my journey, I set some running challenges for the year ahead, as one powerful tool I've learnt to keep my depression away is to set goals to focus on, things that require a lot of planning, action, and focus. All year I've been true to my promise to myself to work on these challenges, and I ticked off the first one in May, to complete a 100 mile event. Since then, I've been working on the second challenge too, to get to 50 marathons by the end of the year. The Thames Meander was number 47.....
I always draw parallels between running and life, and I think the last few weeks have really highlighted it to me. I've had some really massive downs running wise with a couple of really bad experiences recently. And it gave me an opportunity to think. I've always thought of things in the following order - that running helps me to deal with depression. I think that if I can do something really hard running-wise, then it helps me to think that I can also deal with really hard things life-wise. But surely the other way round must be true as well then - if I can deal with difficult periods life-wise, then surely I can run even a difficult race? If I've been thinking for years that running has taught me that the following steps can help me manage feeling low, then it follows that if I just reverse things, then they are also applicable to coping with a difficult run:
- Break things up into small steps
- Set little goals, but still just outside of my comfort zone
- Go outside, even if it's rubbish weather, just wear warm clothes
- Choose a nice outfit so you feel nice
- Talk to people, even if you think they won't want to talk to you, or you won't have anything interesting to say to them, or they won't like you
- Smile, even if you don't feel like it
- Make sure you eat and drink properly to have the nutrients you need to be healthy
- Stop thinking about what has happened, it's happened and it can't un-happen however much you think about it. Take one lesson from whatever it was (e.g. a bad race), and move on
- Look around, at the world and the people. How beautiful the world is!
I approached marathons 48 and 49 last weekend, thinking along these lines. It's A Numbers Game is a double marathon. What better way to spend Saturday AND Sunday than running along the Thames??? No better way. None at all! Even in the pouring rain on Saturday I wrapped up warm, expecting to be running slower than usual, and I had literally one of the best runs ever. On Sunday the weather was beautiful, and I had another good run, finishing faster than I did on Saturday. Belting weekend. They were the friendliest races I've ever done. The routes were laps up and down the Thames Path, so runners passed each other as we all settled into our own paces, and it being a small event it was soon easy to recognise each other. Everyone was shouting well done and smiling at each other....and as the race wore on and the ability to talk deteriorated, words were replaced with thumbs up, and then by eyebrow raises, but always the smiles were there, however much pain people were in. It was just brilliant. It restored a part of me that sometimes gets buried in all the bad news you hear each day and the rude people you see sometimes....that there are so many good people all around, and it's really easy to connect with each other. How simple it is to smile at someone, but how much of a difference it can make. I think this sums it up:
I also got a massive medal. That's a confidence boost in itself. I might not have an Olympic gold medal to my name, but I do have a medal that is so heavy that I can't actually put it around my neck without risking injury.
So, just one marathon left now, number 50 will be on Sunday, The Steppingly Step Marathon....
